How Is This Still on the Market? Soiled Splendor Edition

If you like the color white, but also if you're not afraid of colors, and also if you know you're hot enough to be naked in front of your guests, we've got just the thing for you.

This luxury gem of an apartment in the center of town is for people who have scrubbed themselves absolutely clean of all their sins, but how they earned their money will go with them to their grave. 

This apartment is for someone who values the natural grain of authentic wood but never looks at the floor.

For the couple that does everything together and is not afraid to share their most intimate moments with each other and those around them, this one’s for you.

And here’s the perfect place for those who know that nothing screams “I’ve made it” like a faux stainless steel Hotpoint washing machine (your guests will love it).

Are you a one-man rock band, young man? We have just the place for you if you’re mildly successful (at whatever, doesn’t have to be at rocking)! 

This is a charming flat for someone so original that they are unafraid of color, whatever that color is. 

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