February 8, 2019 by Ellis Dixon
From Romantic to Erotic: Valentine’s Day in Lisbon
Aah, Valentine’s Day. It comes around every February and makes singles feel more single and couples feel pressured to find new ways to say “I love you” so that they don’t get an earful. Here in Lisbon, we’re lucky that the city itself is a very romantic one, so we don’t have to go all out to make the 14th special. However, if you want to do something extraordinary for your significant other, here are some things to do around town that should score love-y points. Or make you realize that you need to move on!
Go for a scenic walk
There are loads of romantic views around Lisbon where you can smooch your boo, but none beat the one from the abandoned Panroámico in Monsanto. You can also avoid the windy roads and long approach by opting for one of the many miradouros here in town (we like São Pedro de Alcântara and Miradouro da Graça best). Regardless, bring a bottle of bubbly and a couple of glasses. Taking along a few kinds of cheese might not be a bad idea either. Or some fois gras and caviar because…why not?
Buy some sexy (under)things
Intimissimi is carrying some good-looking bra and underwear sets that will run you about 100€ for just this sort of occasion, and there are tons of these stores around so you’ll have no trouble finding one if she’s up for it. If you would rather invest in high-end nickers, there’s always La Perla near Parque Eduardo VII that has some luxurious lace thingies starting at around 300€. And if you’re more into latex, ballgags, and the like, try an erotic shop like Purple Rose Erotic Luxury on Rua Alcerim. They also have vagina-shaped chocolate lollypops for under 2€. Nothing says I love you quite like a handful of those.
Keep it classy – free classical concerts
There’s nothing sexier than books and classical music combined, right? Lucky for you, you can take your sassy bookworm to hear the Soloists of the Metropolitana play a Spanish music program inspired by the Renaissance and, yes, gypsy music on the trumpet and piano accompanied by a soprano vocalist at 18h30, Ler Devagar in LX Factory.
If your honey is more into the purely orchestral, check out the violin, viola, and cello trio from the Metropolitan Orchestra play Haydn and Beethoven at 19h at El Corte Inglés or catch the soloists of the Metropolitana play Brahms and Schostakovich on violin, cello, and piano at 19h at the Academia das Ciências de Lisboa. All of these concerts are free.
Have a fancy cocktail
Lisbon has plenty of places to have a good drink, but most people will be lining up for a spot at Pensão Amor, the brothel-turned cocktail lounge in Cais do Sodré, therefore we recommend skipping it if you can. Instead, stop in after 20h at Foxtrot and sit by the fireplace, or opt for a more lively rum concoction at Tabacaria and people-watch for a bit. If you’re feeling a little kookie, it might be worth popping into House of Corto Maltese and let the bartender whip up something freaky for you.
Nibble on an aphrodisiac
There aren’t too many places around town to get fresh oysters, but there are a few— don’t go expecting delicate malpecs or the like. Try By the Wine in Chiado for oysters from the Sado and pair them with a glass of espumante for a snack. If you’d prefer a place where you can stay for dinner, the Palacio Chiado is running a Valentine’s day prix-fixe menu for 45€ that features fresh oysters as their amuse bouche followed by prawns, risotto, beef Wellington, and more, but you’ll certainly need a reservation. For a spot where you’re much more likely to get a table, try the enormous Cervejaria Trindade in Chiado, and prepare for some oysters from the Rio Formosa.
Indulge in a kinky massage
Looking for a saucy way to begin or end your evening? Atlas hasn’t tried it yet but there’s a massage spot in Parque das Nações called Spa Russo that has some pretty naughty treatments on offer. There are four and six-hand massages, pelvic rub-downs, skin-to-skin body massages, and more. The same goes for the Tantric Moments Nuru Lovers Spa in Expo. You’ll have to call to get the specifics, so expect the unexpected, and probably a lot of vanilla-scented candles. Not feeling that raunchy? You can go for a traditional couple’s massage at any of these spots around town. Chicken.
See an erotic show
We’re a port city, so we have a plethora of strip clubs, but don’t go expecting to see a constant flow of dancers. These places usually have a show every half-hour or so that lasts the length of a song. The oldest clubs are named after animals like Hipopótamo Club and, arguably the most famous, the newly-re-opened Elefante Branco, both of which are located near Marqués de Pombal. You could go off the zoo circuit at Ménage in Cais do Sodré, or just pop into Viking for a show and a spanking at 1h and/or 3h.